Suzy Q - I Feel Robbed (So I am Running Away)

Listen, I don't really like the victim role. I mean who does? But it comes down to this: I am running because I feel I was robbed and I want something different for my daughters.

When I was in college, I had a roommate for two years. It took us awhile to 'get' each other. But she convinced me that hockey was worth my time to watch. And she began to think that dancing around and yelling, "Hey, I can't find nothing on the radio" was just the right way to start the day. She helped me study for accounting exams and I showed her around the museum. Eventually, we took a 1,200 mile road trip to watch the NorthStars in the Campbell Conference playoffs against the Oilers and she started listening to more 'alternative' music.

We graduated and pursued jobs in our chosen fields. She jumped at a job offer which required her to move to Colorado. A vibrant woman with her head screwed on and a sense of adventure, she headed west and began a job which also required lots of travel. She loved it. We kept in touch and I hooked her up with contacts in some of the cities she traveled to.

Then out of the blue, in late November 1997, she got sick and ended up in the ER. Her white blood cell count was really screwy. Her prognosis was bad, but she was always positive. She traveled to Seattle for some consultations, and was coming home for a consult at the local university medical center. I booked a flight to visit her. She never made it home and I never made it to see her in her element. In March 1998, she died as a result of her battle with leukemia.

After 12 years I still wish for rendez-vous weekends reminiscing about our college antics, dorm pranks, goofy crushes, big hair, rocking out, and stalking professional hockey players. I wish we had the opportunity to introduce our kids to each other and watch them jumping off the dock at her parents lake place. And I feel robbed. I hope by raising money for lymphoma and leukemia research I am somehow girding my daughters from the same loss I experienced as I embarked on my life journey. The act of fundraising empowers me to believe that if my daughters ever feel robbed, it has nothing to do with leukemia or lymphoma. And running, well it gives me the sensation of leaving the loss I feel in the dust.